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jokes of the day:
Dead Priests:
Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for a week, but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"
The first priest said, "I've always wanted to be an eagle soaring above the Rocky mountains."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and off flew the first priest.
The second priest mulled it over for a moment and asked, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," said the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."
"So be it," said St. Peter, and the second priest disappeared.
A week went by, the computer was fixed, and the Lord told St. Peter to recall the two priests.
"Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asked.
"The first one should be easy," said St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult. He's on a snow tire somewhere in Minnesota."
ankle warmers:
Why does Clinton where underwear?
To keep his ankles warm!!!!!!!!!
Heritage:
"How do you account for this?" the doctor asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father is the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No, sir. Our mother."
"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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